INFORMATION OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE

In order to condense my viewpoints/interests and consequently maintain an active log thereof, I decided to create this diary of sorts. It will have science, technology, politics, and maybe humour (!!1!). It will probably also have pictures of my cat.

By no means are my sources guaranteed to have complete accuracy. As an average person, my intake of world events is funnelled through the media – newspapers, television, and internet articles. I will try to wade through the rubbish or strategically reword the presentations to reflect my viewpoints and mine alone. This may or may not be accompanied by LOLwhatever(s) and gratuitous punctuation.

By no means are you obligated to read my ramblings if you are a) a sensible person, b) a non-sensible person, c) French, d) sensitive to empty and thoughtless jokes about the French, e) sensitive to sunlight, f) a gardener, g) a protester against lengthy alphabetised lists, h) a purveyor of numbered lists, rather, or i) someone who likes their information presented somewhat like a three-year-old’s breakfast, with oatmeal and Froot Loops and orange juice all mixed up into Mt. Carbohydrate and subsequently thrown on the floor. However, my entries may pertain to you from time to time, so you might want to read anyway. Or you might not. Or you may actually want to go to France, whereupon I say allons-y! I'll get my toothbrush.

In matters of politics, I do not consider myself overtly liberal or radically conservative. I also do not have picket-prints on my rear from fence-sitting; that is, I tend to jump the fence at every possible opportunity in order to remain as confusing as possible and to strengthen my calves.

There is little humanity in being of one mind, and this diary is dedicated to the pursuit of information from various sources, many of them opposing, to avoid falling victim to the Orwellian nightmare.

...

And sometimes I use it to be completely vain and/or post pictures of my cat.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

04 November 2010 - Patty Murray is an Anchovy.

The fact that Patty Murray won a fourth term to the US Senate causes me no small amount of mental anguish. I'm pretty sure that she's the reason the dinosaurs died, thus preventing me from having a procompsognathus as a pet. She's responsible for the crater in the Yucatán Peninsula, therefore it follows as a postulate that she should be banished to there for the rest of forever.

The Senate is a pizza that has to contain a balanced amount of cheese and tomato sauce. Adding anchovies to this pizza is a recipe for doom; the pizza is ruined, and the entire house smells like fish now. You can't get rid of the smell no matter what.

This is what will happen since Patty Murray has been elected to a fourth term: continual massive federal debt, unnecessary bailouts, and your house will constantly smell of fish.

TAX CUTS

First of all, I'm pretty sure that the entire body of the compromise goes something like this:
Republican: I have lots and lots of money.
Obama: I want to take your money away.
Republican: I challenge you to a Pac-Man standoff.
Obama: I still want to take away your money, but I'm down.
Republican: But it's my Pac-Man machine.
Obama: Oh, snap.

If you earned the money legitimately, then it should be your money. End of story. We are not responsible for the ridiculous spending habits of the US government. However, if you are in cahoots (I love that word, by the way. Cahoots! I could say it all day and never get tired of it. Cahoots, cahoots, cahoots.) with the government itself, or rely on it for any purpose, then you should give your fair percentage and help to decrease the deficit.

Unless you're Patty Murray. If you're Patty Murray, you spend your fair percentage on bitter "I Hate Rossi" adverts and steal everyone's Pac-Man machine and stink up the Senate with your anchovy-ness from the Yucatán.

Telegraphic Holograms

I want one. Like, instead of my brother calling me while I'm at the grocery store because he's stuck on an algebra problem - he would record his pleading expression and puppy eyes and then send it to me, and thirty seconds later his image would appear over the collard greens in the front of the cart. "Domain is the x part, right? RIGHT?!" And he would commence flailing over the tomatoes.

But it would have to be in the grocery store. Right next to the automatic sliding doors, which were also taken from Star Trek.

(Source: http://www.informationweek.com/news/software/server_virtualization/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=228200194&cid=RSSfeed_IWK_All)

My Life

It's progressing normally. I'm really behind on my NaNo, but I'll freak out about that in the next post. Because I could probably write more about how I can't possibly finish this thing on time than I can write the actual novel. I obviously win at everything.

Now it's time to watch Jon Pertwee be awesome, and to laugh at women who try to run away from evil aliens and antimatter in high-heeled boots and miniskirts. WHUT.
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