We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you - what? Oh, you mean to tell me that this blog hasn't actually been active, and I wasn't interrupting anything at all, so I should get on with whatever I have to say before you pummel me with stilettos and bury my body in a trench?
Anyway, I can explain my absence. I have a very good excuse for not posting. Not that anyone watches this blog, but still. My vanity has no bounds.
- I quit my job and got really really depressed because unemployment actually sucks (who'da thunk), and for a few months I actually didn't feel like doing anything at all. So, I didn't. I watched South Park and BBC America and the cooking channel.
- When I found out that my unemployment was probably going to last an inexplicably long time (I'm estimating at around forever, given the raw data), I suggested pulling my brothers out of regular school so that I could homeschool them, because I hate public schools with the vitriol of your colon after you've eaten a laxative salad and washed it down with a thermos of Ol' Joe's Extra Spicy Chili (now with extra pain). My mom was like "okay, cool," and I don't know whether that was because she trusts me as a viable tutor, or she's finally had it with having kids altogether and figures we'll all just kill each other off.
- It turns out being a home tutor is a lot of work. Not only do I have to face all the crappy subjects and assignments I had in elementary/high school, but I have to legitimately teach them to two boys who have the collective attention span of a tsetse fly and who are capable of about a kajillion times more physical violence toward each other. Nine weeks into the school year, I'm finally realising that the only way to transfer the information from the books to their heads is to bash the latter repeatedly with the former. Not only do I have a little more free time, but I'm also more relaxed.
- My mom is suffering from an aggressive form of fibromyalgia that I'm assuming usually only attacks Sasquatches, and my stepdad is going to have back surgery in a few weeks. There are a lot of appointments to go to and a lot of pills to keep track of, and being the only adult child (lol) and the only licensed driver in the house, I have to make a lot of the chaos not so chaotic.
Now that I've explained all the boring stuff, here's the main point of this post: DOCTORS.
I've had a chance to grow improperly obsessed with the show Doctor Who during the course of my unemployment. Before, I could only catch an episode every month or so, and of course I thought it was a great show, but I never found the time to watch the episodes in succession. This carried on through two or three months of my unemployment, until one day, my parents got something wonderful.
This means that I have about 90% of the shows I would ever want to watch at my fingertips. I should weigh five hundred pounds by now.
BUT. DOCTORS. I devoured the episodes like Oprah devours cake, and my family began watching as well. Pretty soon, we were all fused to the couch by our magnificent and gigantic rear ends, fighting each other to the death for more cushion and the last sweet-and-sour pickle.
Around the middle of September, I started to get the idea that I would dress up as the 10th Doctor for Halloween - not because I could pull it off or do it justice, but because David Tennant is impossibly hot and dressing up as the 10th Doctor was the only chance I would ever have to get in his pants. Mid-October came, and while I was piecing together the last bits of my costume, my 11-year-old brother decided that he wanted to be the 11th Doctor. I panicked because I insensitively lacked 11-year-old-sized Oxford-style jackets and bowties, so we scavenged from all of central Washington's thrift stores until a suitable costume could be assembled.
Well, tonight, we took pictures. I'm especially proud of the Tennant!hair, because it took a lot of work and a million cans of hairspray to achieve. Note my retarded image editing skills and my ability to steal images off the internet:
Moral of the story: We are awesome. Possibly pathetic. But mostly awesome.