INFORMATION OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE

In order to condense my viewpoints/interests and consequently maintain an active log thereof, I decided to create this diary of sorts. It will have science, technology, politics, and maybe humour (!!1!). It will probably also have pictures of my cat.

By no means are my sources guaranteed to have complete accuracy. As an average person, my intake of world events is funnelled through the media – newspapers, television, and internet articles. I will try to wade through the rubbish or strategically reword the presentations to reflect my viewpoints and mine alone. This may or may not be accompanied by LOLwhatever(s) and gratuitous punctuation.

By no means are you obligated to read my ramblings if you are a) a sensible person, b) a non-sensible person, c) French, d) sensitive to empty and thoughtless jokes about the French, e) sensitive to sunlight, f) a gardener, g) a protester against lengthy alphabetised lists, h) a purveyor of numbered lists, rather, or i) someone who likes their information presented somewhat like a three-year-old’s breakfast, with oatmeal and Froot Loops and orange juice all mixed up into Mt. Carbohydrate and subsequently thrown on the floor. However, my entries may pertain to you from time to time, so you might want to read anyway. Or you might not. Or you may actually want to go to France, whereupon I say allons-y! I'll get my toothbrush.

In matters of politics, I do not consider myself overtly liberal or radically conservative. I also do not have picket-prints on my rear from fence-sitting; that is, I tend to jump the fence at every possible opportunity in order to remain as confusing as possible and to strengthen my calves.

There is little humanity in being of one mind, and this diary is dedicated to the pursuit of information from various sources, many of them opposing, to avoid falling victim to the Orwellian nightmare.

...

And sometimes I use it to be completely vain and/or post pictures of my cat.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

30 October 2010 - DOCTORS

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you - what? Oh, you mean to tell me that this blog hasn't actually been active, and I wasn't interrupting anything at all, so I should get on with whatever I have to say before you pummel me with stilettos and bury my body in a trench?

Okay.

Anyway, I can explain my absence. I have a very good excuse for not posting. Not that anyone watches this blog, but still. My vanity has no bounds.

- I quit my job and got really really depressed because unemployment actually sucks (who'da thunk), and for a few months I actually didn't feel like doing anything at all. So, I didn't. I watched South Park and BBC America and the cooking channel.

- When I found out that my unemployment was probably going to last an inexplicably long time (I'm estimating at around forever, given the raw data), I suggested pulling my brothers out of regular school so that I could homeschool them, because I hate public schools with the vitriol of your colon after you've eaten a laxative salad and washed it down with a thermos of Ol' Joe's Extra Spicy Chili (now with extra pain). My mom was like "okay, cool," and I don't know whether that was because she trusts me as a viable tutor, or she's finally had it with having kids altogether and figures we'll all just kill each other off.

- It turns out being a home tutor is a lot of work. Not only do I have to face all the crappy subjects and assignments I had in elementary/high school, but I have to legitimately teach them to two boys who have the collective attention span of a tsetse fly and who are capable of about a kajillion times more physical violence toward each other. Nine weeks into the school year, I'm finally realising that the only way to transfer the information from the books to their heads is to bash the latter repeatedly with the former. Not only do I have a little more free time, but I'm also more relaxed.

- My mom is suffering from an aggressive form of fibromyalgia that I'm assuming usually only attacks Sasquatches, and my stepdad is going to have back surgery in a few weeks. There are a lot of appointments to go to and a lot of pills to keep track of, and being the only adult child (lol) and the only licensed driver in the house, I have to make a lot of the chaos not so chaotic.

Now that I've explained all the boring stuff, here's the main point of this post: DOCTORS.

I've had a chance to grow improperly obsessed with the show Doctor Who during the course of my unemployment. Before, I could only catch an episode every month or so, and of course I thought it was a great show, but I never found the time to watch the episodes in succession. This carried on through two or three months of my unemployment, until one day, my parents got something wonderful.



This means that I have about 90% of the shows I would ever want to watch at my fingertips. I should weigh five hundred pounds by now.

BUT. DOCTORS. I devoured the episodes like Oprah devours cake, and my family began watching as well. Pretty soon, we were all fused to the couch by our magnificent and gigantic rear ends, fighting each other to the death for more cushion and the last sweet-and-sour pickle.

Around the middle of September, I started to get the idea that I would dress up as the 10th Doctor for Halloween - not because I could pull it off or do it justice, but because David Tennant is impossibly hot and dressing up as the 10th Doctor was the only chance I would ever have to get in his pants. Mid-October came, and while I was piecing together the last bits of my costume, my 11-year-old brother decided that he wanted to be the 11th Doctor. I panicked because I insensitively lacked 11-year-old-sized Oxford-style jackets and bowties, so we scavenged from all of central Washington's thrift stores until a suitable costume could be assembled.

Well, tonight, we took pictures. I'm especially proud of the Tennant!hair, because it took a lot of work and a million cans of hairspray to achieve. Note my retarded image editing skills and my ability to steal images off the internet:



Moral of the story: We are awesome. Possibly pathetic. But mostly awesome.

2 comments:

  1. I positively love your explaination for why you chose to dress as Ten. LOVE IT. What a great idea.

    ALSO. I am fantastically glad that you are nearly as obsessed with Doctor Who as I am. This is a rare occasion. The internet party that you were saying about elsewhere? It needs to happen. STAT.

    ReplyDelete
  2. INTERNET PARTY COMMENCES NOW

    (partiiies)

    I'm incredibly glad to find a fellow Who-fanatic. Who's your favourite Doctor? :D

    ReplyDelete